poor productivity for gangsters

I bought Series III of The Sopranos from play247 before my last trip to Libya, and then found when I got there that the 1st disk was bloody missing; so this morning I’m writing play247 - who are based in Jersey, what’s all that about then? - a letter to accompany the box I’m returning, and of course I have to reinstall the printer’s drivers, and meanwhile the computer’s being fed endless updates from piggin' Windows, and then my son Alexander pops up on Messenger for a chat: usually I don’t run it ‘cos friends and family seem to barge into my laptop at inconvenient times, but of course I forgot to do that after what I’m beginning to regard now as The Great Easter Reformat of ’05…

So that letter took several hours to write. Then I wanted to write a few emails, and couldn't get on line at all. Spoke to a nice antipodean man at my ISP and all the settings are ok, apparently, so it must be a virus, and so as I’m typing this I’m performing virus and spyware checks. All I’ve achieved all day is one letter. Meanwhile, my allotment is crying for attention.

The trouble is, this beloved wee laptop was away from the internet whilst I was over the sea, and when I reformatted it and plugged it back in it got plied with all kinds of good and bad stuff from the internet. So it was like giving a half starved man pie and chips, with side salad and a custard tart to follow: you’d think it’d do him good, but actually it’ll kill the poor bugger.

LATER: it wasn’t a virus, it was the Windows XP service pack, which I’d downloaded this morning, and have now removed. Still, you can’t blame Microsoft, can you? I mean, they are only a small company, and don’t make much money.

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