The Last Leek Show

That's Your Own Correspondent with the pair of leeks I'm entering this year. For the last time. Showing leeks - and anything else - is, we've decided, a pain in the arse. It takes up too much time and space. And you can never win against "gardeners" who are really quasi-professional leek-showers, growing hundreds of flawless leeks in huge poly-tunnels, entering dozens of shows (whilst playing no active role in the working men's clubs that hold them), and hoovering up big piles of cash.

These two are pretty poor - I lost interest when I saw an allotment near ours with nothing but the said huge poly-tunnel and fuck-all else. So I put them in the show today, as I've paid to enter it, but I know they'll be pretty far down the table.

And next year our leek trenches, full of hops, horse shit and God knows what other goodness, will produce instead masses of firm young carrots.

Or something.

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